Under Pressure...?

Pressure. I thought I knew what pressure meant. I mean, I've faced the threat of losing a child, I've suffered abuse at the hands of a spouse, I've gone through divorce and depression, I've raised four kids to adulthood, I've lost a parent, I've had to stand by and watch while one of my kids struggled with addiction, and so many other problems in my life.

...I have no idea what "pressure" is. Pressure is watching your husband go through losing fingers and the use of his hand, raising a special needs child, watching a home burn down, being rearended in your car by a driver who then runs away, going through another surgery with your husband who has to lose more of his hand. Pressure is finally getting money benefits from the workers' compensation insurance company only to have them stop-pay your checks and have the bank threaten to close your account and black-list you from ever opening another bank account anywhere, for the rest of your life. Pressure is not having the money to pay your electric bill, not to mention putting food on the table, and pressure is wondering how you're going to tell your kids they won't be getting any Christmas gifts this year.

Pressure is breaking your back on the job (literally), and waiting a year for the insurance company to agree to pay for your surgery. Pressure is then finding out that the surgeon used the wrong hardware on your spine, and you have to go through the entire torture of the surgery and recovery all over again, and it's going to take ANOTHER year of waiting to get it paid for by the insurance company. Pressure is losing your wife, your daughter, your home, your job, and your dignity in the process.

Without naming names or going into any other details, the above is just a sample of some of the pressure that a couple of my clients are under at the workers' compensation law firm where I work.

"Heidi, you're depressing me! What's your point?" I guess the point I was struggling to make is that throughout all the pressure of the scenarios I painted above, today I talked to the wife of the client who has lost several fingers. She is truly grace under pressure. I told her how she has inspired me because throughout all the hardships she and her husband have gone through, she thanks God for the BLESSINGS she has in her life. Blessings! Her husband can't work. The little money they have gotten from the insurance company was stopped, and they're facing losing their only bank account forever because of a mistake that they did not make. Their home burned down last year, at CHRISTMAS. And this lady is almost unvaryingly (is that a word, Bill?) cheerful and calm when she calls me with yet another tragedy unfolding at her door.

This amazing woman of God reminded me today that she IS blessed. She pointed out to me that she is not cursed; that sometimes bad things happen and she looks for the gifts in all of them. Oh, sweet Lord, has she had bad things happen! And she can still praise God and thank Him for all the troubles that are completely eclipsed by His love and mercy. Even in the midst of all that she and her husband have faced, she praises the Lord for His goodness, and she has encouraged and lifted the hearts of those around her.

Believing in the Gift of God that is Christ, who sacrificed Himself for our sin, doesn't mean that we're gonna be wearing white robes and playing harps all day long, at least not where I live, here on earth. Life is going to be tough. Life is going to be downright heartbreaking sometimes. Being a Christian does not shield us from this world in any sense. Nobody handed me a "get out of crap free" card when I became a child of God, and I'm betting you didn't get one either. It's all in how we look at things. You can look at all the hard things and ask why God lets these things happen, or you can look for God in all the tragedies of this world.

I don't know about you, but I'm under absolutely NO PRESSURE over here!

That's all I'm sayin'.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

I should've listed to Bill Martin... He TOLD me the best way to avoid losing a blog entry is to type it in someplace else, and cut and paste it into the article when I'm sure I have a complete entry.

Well, I didn't, and I couldn't, and now I can't. Oh, yeah, and this isn't the first time I've ignored perfectly good advice and lost a total entry. Dang it!

So, here goes:

Starting Weight: 213.6 lbs

Current Weight: 203 lbs.

Weight Lost: 10.6 lbs.

Did you have a good week? Did you do everything perfectly, every day, in every way? Yeah, me neither. I did well ENOUGH, I guess, since I lost almost 11 pounds, but I could've done more. However, I always do pretty well on that first weigh-in, it's Week 2 that will be tough. Oh, well, its time to get going!

I'm always really gung-ho the first week or two, but then the old ADD kind of checks in to see what's going on. I get bored easily. I can stay really concentrated on something, but let a distraction creep in, like the "Wonderpets" theme song, and I'm gone!

Just try and work on one good habit at a time. Exercise a few times a week, or concentrate on keeping your food journal, or drinking 8 8-ounce glasses of water every day. Maybe concentrate on bringing down that sugary-soda intake - make a plan! Kind of like getting up in the morning. Do you have to really THINK about what happens once you get out of bed? Unless Carl's home in the morning to interrupt my routine, I'm on autopilot with showering, brushing my teeth, putting on makeup, and heading out to the kitchen for coffee. That's how you have to treat living healthy, too. It isn't a habit (good OR bad) until you've done it so much or so many times that it becomes automatic.

I'm all for living consciously, or deliberately, but there are so many things I do everyday that are on auto-pilot. Like (and this is REALLY bad), most days I couldn't tell you HOW I got to work, unless something happens that is out of the ordinary, like a wreck, or a traffic jam, or even less traffic, for that matter (Spring break for Hillsborough students this week).

Anyway, concentrate on one habit you'd like to change, and take a couple of weeks to become the master of it. I'm concentrating on logging in my food diary, and being deliberate about blogging on the website.

My prayer for you this week is that you find the good habit you'd like to gain domination over, and all I ask is that for me, that you pray the same!

Let's Go - Getting Started

Current Weight: 213.6 lbs

Are you ready? I am! Let's get going!

First things first: Of course, weigh yourself. Take a picutre, too. You'd be amazed at how much different you're going to look when you take off a couple of pounds... this is what I looked like in June 2009 before I started losing weight and being very public about it as The Joy FM's Biggest Loser on The Morning Cruise:

Here's what I look like today, Easter Sunday, kind of the same pose:

Carl says I look very much different to his eye; to be honest, I don't see it. I know I'm better; I have more energy, I feel so much healthier, and I have a better outlook ("IN-look") on myself and life in general. But DO take some pictures. If you don't want to look at them right now, that's fine. I didn't, either. But you WILL want to look at them later on, when you've lost a little weight, and you're feeling better about yourself.

Also, take a couple of measurements. This is what I measured:

Chest: 38 inches (this is just below the armpits and above "the girls")

Waist: 36 inches (narrowest part of the torso)

Hips: 46 inches (widest part)

Upper arm: 16 inches

Current sizes: 16 pant, "Large" shirt

The measuring tape doesn't have to be accurately placed, but be sure to measure in the same place each time. I will try to do this about once a month, because I'm curious myself as to how I'm going to progress.

Record everything you eat or drink, or do for exercise. I use the website at http://www.sparkpeople.com/ for all that - sometimes it helps to look back at what you've done in the past to see where you've done well, and where you need improvement. In the nutrition section, at the end of the day you can see where you've done well... and where you haven't done so well, too. The main thing is to be accountable; to yourself, if to no one else. Also, if you're keeping a food and exercise diary, you are more conscious of what you're doing; you might not "count" a mouthful of pie of a handful of peanut M&Ms if you're keeping a tally only in your head. Plus which, everyone needs a minimum of caloric intake, or your body goes into starvation mode; it hangs onto every single calorie you take in, and you won't lose any weight.

Try to get a handle on what you eat each day. Again, www.sparkpeople.com is free, and gives you all the tools you need for learning how much, how often, and so on, that you shoud be eating every day to lose weight at a healthy rate.

Good luck! I'm praying for you... please pray for me!

Get ready... start a new plan!

Its time to start thinking about what you're going to do with yourself...

Okay, okay, its time for ME to start making a plan to get rid of some more of the weight I've been carting around.

I've been a good girl since I last blogged. Let me qualify that: I've been maintaining my weight loss, even though I haven't lost much more weight, and I'm not gaining any back. So, yay to me!

What I'm getting ready for is on April 5, the fam-dam and I are going to start another family version of "Biggest Loser" which has worked pretty well for us as a group in the past.

If you'd like to join us, that's great, but you do it whatever way works best for you and your cohorts.

This is how we do it...

We pick a start day - we've picked Monday, April 5, this time around. Picking a date gives you time to prepare your mind and heart, and to get all the "bad" groceries out of your house without throwing away a lot of money. We've been cleaning out the freezer of ice cream and the pantry of cookies and peanut M&Ms, stuff like that. Yeah, we (okay mostly ME) put them there, but we haven't been really on a binge or anything; we've just gotten pretty relaxed about the healthier stuff.

So, we've got our start date. We're beginning to clear out the cupboards, fridges, and freezers... we have three freezer-places and two fridge-places, so that's a bit of clearing out!

When we start our version of "Biggest Loser" we're more focused on exercise and eating more healthfully, and the friendly competition is a good motivator.

Of course, each week we are doing "Loser" each person puts $5 into a kitty. If you lose weight on the weigh-in day, great, and you only pay in $5. If you GAIN, however, you have to pay in an additional $5. At the end of the time frame (we usually go either 8 or 10 weeks), of course the person who has lost the highest percentage of body weight wins, and to the biggest loser belongs the spoils!

So, get ready! If you want to "lose along" with me, just remember - April 5!

I'm already getting excited!

The Funny Thing About Me and Goals...

Current Weight: 204 lbs.
Working on my come-back

Like so many things in my life, this blog entry started out to be about one thing, but has changed into something completely else! I'm keeping the title the same, even though I was led to turn it, 'cause sooner or later I want to get back to talking about goals... I hope you find something you can use from the following ramblings:

For the most part of my life, I am very goal-oriented. At work that's what helps to keep me organized; there's certain things I want to accomplish in a day's time, and that's how I plot my time. I can set priorities, make changes to my schedule, and change with the time I have left.

One might think that's how I chart my weight-loss goals too. One would be wrong!

I can justify anything. In word-processing terms "justify" means to take a raggle-taggle paragraph with words ending all over here and there and make both sides of it even and straight; neat and tidy. There's al kinds of chaos within maybe, but it sure looks good! That's kind of an analogy for how I look at myself, come to think of it. I'm so worried about the edges and how it looks to the "reader" looking at me that I ignore all the bad words, incomplete sentences, and poor spelling on the inside. I can explain away all the stuff I should be doing and ignore the truth that I find with explanations and apologies.

The definition of the verb, to justify, is what I'm talking about... justify - defend, explain, clear away, or make excuses for by reasoning; "rationalize the child's seemingly crazy behavior"; "he rationalized his lack of success" Synonyms: apologise, rationalize, rationalise, apologize, excuse

The awesome thing about justification is that Christ also justifies us... check this out! This is in the Webster Dictionary: (Theol.) To treat as if righteous and just; to pardon; to exculpate; to absolve. By Him all that believe are justified from all things, from which ye could not be justified by the law of Moses. - Acts xiii. 39.

He takes all the jagged edges of our broken margins and by His sacrifice brings them into perfect line. Our uneven sins and shortcomings are all erased as if they never existed. By His blood, He corrects our typographical errors and makes all our internal words beautiful ones. He spell-checks our wrongs and makes them right. Because of all He gave up for us, we have everything!

I saw a bumper sticker somewhere, or read it in a book or something, "Jesus Knows Me, This I Love" - isn't that a cool way to change a paragraph?

Thank you, Jesus, that You can take the broken edges and poor grammar that is our souls and make them perfect and make US perfect in Your sight. Thank you for justifying us with Your love, as we cannot do for ourselves.

My, How Time Flies!

Current Weight 207 lbs.

Status - later!

It is sure funny how time gets away from you... seems like just last week I was celebrating all the weight I've lost, at the Casting Crowns concert in November. Even further back than that, January 15, 2009, to be exact, that bald guy to the right and I welcomed our first grandson into the family. A year.

I can't imagine our lives without that little piece of humanity, and I still find it such an amazing gift that I get to greet that little guy every morning, and kiss him goodnight every evening. If you don't have grandkids, get yourself some! There is nothing like the feeling you get when your grandkids are happy to see you.

So. Christmas and New Year's. I'm so glad they come around, but I'm also glad they're only once a year. One of the two most significant days in the Christian calendar and the basis of Christianity, Christmas has become a mixed bag for me. I love the lights, the music, and even (okay, especially) the shopping, but its a stressful time weight-loss wise.

I believe, all things considered, I did okay. Not great, but okay. I didn't eat or drink as much as I usually would have; I didn't bake all the cookies and pies and fudge that I used to; I only had one 4-oz glass of eggnog the entire season - but I drank enough eggnog-creamer-flavored coffee to make up the difference!

Ah, well, my only resolution this year is not to beat myself up overmuch about it, but to get on with gettin' on.

My family and some of our friends have started a "Biggest Loser" pool - each pays in $5 a week for 8 weeks, and if you gain weight, another $5 that week. We'll see who comes out on the other side of the 8 weeks the richer (and thinner!) for it.

I find it is really important to keep my health goals interesting to keep me encouraged and motivated to keep going. I had Michelle and of course the spots on The Morning Cruise at The Joy FM to keep me motivated over the summer and fall, and now I've got daughter Lindsay acting as my Jiminy Cricket to get on the treadmill (Ooh! Freudian slip - I initially typed "treat" mill). The "Biggest Loser" jackpot (if I were to win it) would help me to purchase some more clothing, as my wardrobe is looking pretty thin these days too.

Get (or stay) interested in being healthy - it is so important to your overall mood and success. I read somewhere recently that people who exercise regularly have a better self-image, no matter what their size or health level. Remember - don't beat yourself up over what you might have gained over the holidays, dust off your sneakers and get on out there.

I'm praying for all of us!

A Christmas Shortcut

Merry Yule, Y'all!

One of my Christmas gifts is that Carl writes the annual family newsletter, so I don't have to. Grin when you think about him complaining that my blogs are too long. Be grateful for the gift! This is only a portion of his annual missive.

See ya next year!

Love and prayers,

Heidi

* \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / * \ * / *

Greetings to all from the halls of the Cutting-Schultz Cooperative Commune:

There have been many new things happening in our lives in the past year.

The first of these being the birth of our most marvelous grandson, Pierson. On the 15th of January we were truly blessed, and overjoyed with an easy and safe birth for both mother and son. It was an excellent way to start out the year...

... In the early part of January after talking a while, we decided that it would be a good idea, at least as far as Heidi and I are concerned, (I can’t speak for Lindsay and Scott), to give up our house and move in with Lindsay and Scott. We remodeled a basically unused formal dining room into a reasonably sized bedroom with a walk in closet right by the babies' bedrooms. Lindsay and Scott kindly gave up their master bedroom to us to take the bedroom by the babies. I believe that this arrangement works, and I thank God that we have two people like Lindsay and Scott in our lives. Without them we would be lesser persons.

Lindsay found that her new job was reasonable and the woman she works for has high regard for her and has given her more responsibilities and a raise. She also works periodically at a law firm, helping out when she can. Being a full time EVERYTHING keeps her busy, but she finds a way to do it all. In addition to all this she somehow found time here and there to work out and lose weight and get in exceptional shape. She look MARVELOUS.

Scott is Scott. You don’t realize just what that says. First of all, he is a great guy, he works hard, he is a devoted husband and father, truly adored by all of us. He is his babies hero, they truly love every minute he has to spend with them. This year he changed jobs to be able to spend more time with his family, while becoming store manager in the new job. He can get such responses of sheer joy out of his children, they both smile and laugh so well for their dad.

Then there is my girl, Phoebe. For some unseen reason she just loves her Poppa in a way I can’t explain. When I come home, she claims me for hers, what a rush. She is such a beautiful girl, but the most impressive thing is just how smart she is. She just seems to “get it”. It is hard to realize sometimes that she is only 2 1/2 yrs old. Some of the things she does, and more impressively thinks of and understands are far beyond her years. Her mother and father can take great pride in her, they have put in the time and love to create a wonderful little human being.

This brings us to “little man” as his Mama calls him. Pierson is such a joy to behold, he just loves life, and is one of the laughingest babies I have ever seen. He is strong and handsome (looking like his Poppa). He makes other people just feel better just by being around him. I have yet to see anyone that can walk past him and not stop and talk to him. Both he and his big sister are fearless which keeps us all on our toes, we fear a trip to the emergency room to get one of them patched up. Somehow they always seem to avoid pain and suffering, thank God for that. We just couldn’t stand to see them hurt. It will happen some day, but I pray that day is far in the future.

We next come to the love of my life, my Heidi. This year has had both ups and downs for her. She has had two places of employment that let her down, the first by not paying what she was owed in wages, the second by eliminating her job after assuring her they would make sure she was employed by them for the duration, then saying she was no longer needed. She had a two month period with no job which was distressing to her. Thankfully she has recently become employed, again with a law firm, and she is happy once again with her employment. The ups have been first being near her “babies”, they give her such joy, and then there is her weight loss. She has done wonderfully, losing in excess of 60 lbs and still going. Through a Christian radio station she got some encouragement as their “Biggest Loser”, getting some free gym time and a wonderful lady to give her time to Heidi as her personal trainer, free of charge for almost 5 months, giving her the basis for her success and a plan for further success. I believe this time is going to stick, she has found that exercising along with everything else works for her. Lindsay has given her a description that I won’t expand upon, yet needless to say, said description is quite flattering to her in its unique way. She, as I previously described Lindsay, looks MARVELOUS, and she hasn’t finished her journey yet. She writes a blog for the radio station at least once a week chronicling her journey, talks to them on the air periodically, our celebrity. At a recent concert for Christian artists “Casting Crowns”, by the way our favorites, she was brought up on stage and recognized for her accomplishment, to a standing ovation, no less. I am truly proud of my wife.

As for me, all is as it always is. I work 12 days and then go home for 2, then turn around and do it all again. I truly love our living arrangement, I not only get my time with Heidi, but also with Lindsay, Scott , Phoebe and Pierson. Jeremy is close by and so I get to see him and Brianna when she comes for his visitation. When not working my time is pretty well accounted for with my family and I wouldn’t have it any other way. At 56 I’m beginning to feel the effects of age physically, but I’ll never grow old in my head, it’s not in my makeup.

Jeremy is doing pretty well. He is working hard and doing his best to be a father that is involved in his daughter’s life. I am proud of the man he is becoming, he sometimes hits bumps in the road, but for the most part he does well. He has been on the job as an electrician for several years with the same company and is well liked there. Brianna is a wonderful girl, very smart and talented, busy with her cheerleading. We are very proud of her and relish each time we get to see her. I am glad Jeremy and her Mom are friendly, it gives us more chances to see her in good circumstances.

Beth is living in the Salt Lake City, Utah area with her partner, Andrea. She moved out there several years ago and has found she loves the area. She is working and contemplating going back to school as life allows. We love her and miss her, but she has her life to live. We talk when we can, but she is busy with her life, as are we. Heidi had the chance to go out and visit just after Christmas last year and said it’s beautiful...

...The last of our children, but not the least is our Allie. She is now 20 yrs. old. Where have all the years gone, all my children are now between 20 and 32, how scary a reminder of just how old I’m getting. Allie is a marvel, mostly up but sometimes down. She has one of the best work ethics I’ve ever seen. Even when she fears she has let herself down she is always looking for a way to fix it. She is doing well in school, nose to the grindstone and all that. The strangest thing for me to face is that for the first time ever, after this Christmas holiday, I will have gone a whole year and not seen my baby girl face to face. How quickly they grow and follow their next steps in life. Allie has a new “beau”. How funny they must look together, since she is 5’ 2” tall and he is scraping the clouds at a mere 6’ 5 or 6+”, something like that. This seems to be serious so far as I can tell. If it leads to something permanent, so be it, as long as happiness plays a major factor. I think it might be a bit harder to be intimidating when looking up at this guy. I was lucky that previous boyfriends thought I was scary, don’t think it’ll work this time...

...The last thing to say to all of you is that we love all of you and wish we had better chances to get together. I had hoped for a possible family reunion next 4th of July, but due to work regulations, planning something that far in advance over a holiday can’t happen. But again, please know that I will call those that I can get a hold of as often as possible. Even if you dread it, I still call, cause some of you don’t know how to dial a phone, or don’t want to. Ma always made it clear to me, especially after I moved to Florida, that communication with those you love shouldn’t be overlooked. You never know , especially at our ages, when you may lose that chance.

As I quote Richard Nixon, at least in part, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear!”, I Love All of You, and you are all often in my thoughts and prayers...

...Carl