I was really not looking forward to the Women of Faith conference in Tampa this year. First, I posted previously that I had 10 tickets that I had purchased in advance and could not get them sold, thus I am at a loss of about $1,000; money we can ill afford to lose.
Second, since Carl and I moved in with Lindsay and Scott and the babies in March, we've been in-between churches. Although we found one we could be comfortable in, I just haven't been making it to the church whether Carl is home or not. So, I'm kind of ambivalent going into the conference, to say the least... ambivalent, discouraged, a little frustrated, and definitely sad.
Apparently so is my best friend Helen-Ann. She and I have known each other since Carl and I moved with the kids from Tampa to Lakeland in 1990 and joined a Lutheran church there, but I think she's my soul-sister. We both grew up in very similar circumstances, having been girls in the '60s and young women in the '70s, plus which our family dynamics are a lot the same. But I digress!
Anyway, we are both going through a difficult period right now, for various reasons. So we were both feeling like maybe we should've saved our money, or spent it on something other than Women of Faith this year. Helen-Ann's been going since 2001 and I've been following her since 2002.
That pretty much changed when Mandisa got on stage. Not only can that young woman SING, she can DANCE! She started moving on that platform and did not stop until she sang the last note. Every movement was a prayer of joy in the Lord, and every note was crystal-clear and as beautiful as anything you could hear on the radio. For anyone who knows what I'm talking about, most people can barely talk, let alone sing, and move faster than a walk at the same time. It takes a lot of lung power to be able to sing and dance at the same time, and Mandisa did it without ceasing.
If you got to see Mandisa on American Idol in 2006, you know how strong her faith is. She exhibits the kind of True Beauty that I want to follow. I definitely relate to her struggle! I have suffered through some of the same things she did in her childhood and all I can say is, she's my hero. I am also addicted to food, and I am learning and struggling every day to run my life, and not let the addiction run me. Like Mandisa, I am not losing weight because I want to be pretty. I am doing this because I want to be healthy and to do stuff with my husband, children, and grandchildren, not to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else.
Do I want to be attractive? Sure, who doesn't? But like Mandisa has said, I can't let that be my motivation. I was a cute fat chick already; I'll be a cute thinner chick too. If true beauty is from the inside, then whether I'm fat or thin makes no difference to God, and it only matters what He thinks about me anyway.
I haven't even STARTED on listening to Stephen Curtis Chapman, another one of my musical and Christian heroes who was also at Women of Faith this year...! Another post.
You are beautiful to God, and He loves you. Just as you are! If you need to lose weight, or quit smoking, or stop drinking or drugging to be more healthy, or whatever burden you're struggling with, God won't love you more for being successful, and He won't love you less for failing. He just loves you.
Chew on that a while.
Second, since Carl and I moved in with Lindsay and Scott and the babies in March, we've been in-between churches. Although we found one we could be comfortable in, I just haven't been making it to the church whether Carl is home or not. So, I'm kind of ambivalent going into the conference, to say the least... ambivalent, discouraged, a little frustrated, and definitely sad.
Apparently so is my best friend Helen-Ann. She and I have known each other since Carl and I moved with the kids from Tampa to Lakeland in 1990 and joined a Lutheran church there, but I think she's my soul-sister. We both grew up in very similar circumstances, having been girls in the '60s and young women in the '70s, plus which our family dynamics are a lot the same. But I digress!
Anyway, we are both going through a difficult period right now, for various reasons. So we were both feeling like maybe we should've saved our money, or spent it on something other than Women of Faith this year. Helen-Ann's been going since 2001 and I've been following her since 2002.
That pretty much changed when Mandisa got on stage. Not only can that young woman SING, she can DANCE! She started moving on that platform and did not stop until she sang the last note. Every movement was a prayer of joy in the Lord, and every note was crystal-clear and as beautiful as anything you could hear on the radio. For anyone who knows what I'm talking about, most people can barely talk, let alone sing, and move faster than a walk at the same time. It takes a lot of lung power to be able to sing and dance at the same time, and Mandisa did it without ceasing.
If you got to see Mandisa on American Idol in 2006, you know how strong her faith is. She exhibits the kind of True Beauty that I want to follow. I definitely relate to her struggle! I have suffered through some of the same things she did in her childhood and all I can say is, she's my hero. I am also addicted to food, and I am learning and struggling every day to run my life, and not let the addiction run me. Like Mandisa, I am not losing weight because I want to be pretty. I am doing this because I want to be healthy and to do stuff with my husband, children, and grandchildren, not to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone else.
Do I want to be attractive? Sure, who doesn't? But like Mandisa has said, I can't let that be my motivation. I was a cute fat chick already; I'll be a cute thinner chick too. If true beauty is from the inside, then whether I'm fat or thin makes no difference to God, and it only matters what He thinks about me anyway.
I haven't even STARTED on listening to Stephen Curtis Chapman, another one of my musical and Christian heroes who was also at Women of Faith this year...! Another post.
You are beautiful to God, and He loves you. Just as you are! If you need to lose weight, or quit smoking, or stop drinking or drugging to be more healthy, or whatever burden you're struggling with, God won't love you more for being successful, and He won't love you less for failing. He just loves you.
Chew on that a while.
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