"Oh, Yeah, This is SOOOOO Easy" - Temptations

If you've been following me on this blog and think that my efforts to lose weight cause me no consternation, frustration, or just plain aggravation, think again! I have to be very careful not to allow myself to become ravenous. When I get a little nudge from my stomach, then I need to address it right away.

During the week, that's pretty easy, as long as I prepare. The night before, I weigh out an ounce of dry roasted almonds, grab a South Beach high-protein cereal bar (10 grams of protein!), and decide which fruit I'm going to take with me the next day. Then, the following morning everything goes into my cooler bag with a couple of ice packs, and armed with my 32-ounce insulated mug full of water (coffee/caffeine makes me hungry, so only one cup with breakfast in the morning, and that's it for the day), I head out the door. Then I have a couple of items to take the edge off my hunger until lunch. I'll have one protein item (nuts or cereal bar) mid-morning. Lunch, as I said before, is usually a Subway turkey breast salad. The fruit and other protein I have on my way to the gym in the afternoon. That way, I'm not tempted to turn into McDonald's or Wendy's and grab something that isn't on my agenda these days.

However, weekends are my big challenge! During the week, I HATE when the alarm clock goes on in the morning; I could always sleep later than my schedule allows. But on the weekends, I don't have the alarm clock set, and invariably I wake up before the alarm clock would have sounded "time to get up!" I think this is because I'm middle-aged. When I was a teenager, I could sleep until mid-afternoon, if my mother would let me, and sometimes she did. I could also stay up until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m., but now, if I'm not in bed by 10:00 p.m. there is something really interesting going on. It also seems like the later I go to bed, the earlier I wake up.

So, weekends are less structured for me than the rest of the week, especially since I don't have to drive my children places; they are all old enough to have their licenses (and vote, and go to college, and live in Utah, and marry, and have their own children...). As a result, I don't have a specific schedule for eating meals or snacks, particularly on the weekends when Carl is home. This is not a good thing - I mean our schedule; I love it when Carl can be with us for any amount of time.

Today I went to the gym while Carl, Scott, and Jeremy ran errands and began yard work. Lindsay was multi-tasking as usual, working on her computer and taking care of Pierson. Phoebe had gone on a sleepover. After I got home from the gym, Carl and I ran more errands! We got to the grocery store, and midway through looking at almost every food in pretty much every single aisle, I was getting pretty aggravated. I'd pick up a can or box of food (that in the old days I would just drop into the cart), look at the nutritional label, and put it back on the shelf. Too much sodium; too many calories; not enough protein. Add to that the aroma of cooking food in the deli area, specifically frying chicken and shrimp. Also, there is a McDonald's at the entrance to the store! I love Quarter Pounders without cheese, and haven't had one since this past spring.

I complained to Carl that it wasn't fair! How come this store has all this food that I want but I can't have, but it seems like everybody else can!? I was griping and getting loud and red in the face because I felt so deprived and left out. I wanted a Quarter Pounder AND a large order of fries! Carl stopped me from storming through the store like a spoiled child, turned me around, and in his own calm, no-nonsensical, practical, logical male-brained way, said, "Heidi! Calm down. You CAN have whatever food you want. But if you want to get healthy, you need to choose to avoid the ones that you know are not going to help you lose weight."

I know that Carl is right. I don't HAVE TO avoid eating unhealthy foods, but I GET TO choose the healthy options that will keep me working toward my goal. I was feeling like a martyr; gloom and doom inside the store as well as outside. To carry it further, I don't HAVE TO exercise; I GET TO. We are so fortunate in this country that there are so many options for selecting groceries, but we have to be consistent in living healthy lives. Yet I see the TV commercials advertising the unhealthiest, fastest foods that are presented in a manner that leaves me feeling like I'm missing something if I don't leap into the truck and go get myself that Steak 'N Shake Takahomasak right away.

I am trying to keep my eyes on the prize so to speak, and counting my blessings. I've lost almost 10% of my initial body weight when I started this April (from 251 down 24 pounds, thank you very much!). I climbed several flights of stairs at the St Pete Times Forum last weekend without losing my breath or pausing halfway up. Michelle keeps telling me how physically strong I am. Being able to do these things is the harvest from my hard work.

So, my self-pity party is over, and I feel very much better about the changes in my bad habits, and sacrifices I am making to live a better, healthier life. . .

. . . and Carl is recovering nicely at a rehabilitation center not far from home.