Weigh In Week 4 - Bear With Me While I Ramble...

(Allegedly 1961 Rambler)

Starting Weight: 242 Lbs
Current Weight: 233 Lbs (July 30)

This week's results: -1 Lb

Total lost: 9 Lbs

I apologize for being behind in my posting; you will see a Week 4 and 5 weigh-in posting this week because of it. We had a little glitch in the blog-world, but all seems to be in order now, thanks to Bill and Leslie! I'll play a little catch-up now, and post again later this week with weigh in week 5.

It seems like I've spent my entire life waiting for something, and wishing it would hurry up. In my early childhood, I waited to be 10 years old so I'd have "2 digits" to my age; then, I waited to be 16 so I could drive; after that, I waited to be 18 so I could vote and purchase (okay drink) alcohol, another symbol of "grown-uppedness" in my mind. In high school, I waited to be married in the worst way (so I was, the first time - I married the first guy who asked me). Once married, I waited to be a mother (in the best way, and I was blessed with a daughter from that first marriage). I spent a lot of time daydreaming about being older, what I would do, and have, and be, when I got to be an adult. I also felt like I was the only person who ever did this.

I'm not the concert flutist I started out to be; I'm not the psychologist I dreamed about being; I'm not an RN, MD, PhD, DDS, or any other letters I can put together that I thought would be worth my wait. However, I am a daughter, sister, aunt, wife, mother, ex-wife, wife again, (step)mother, with "friend" interlaced throughout. I use the word "step" only for clarification purposes and certainly not for emotional ones. My two oldest kids are mine. How does the saying go? I didn't carry them under my heart, but in it. I made a conscious decision that I never would have married Carl unless I could love those children (32 and 30 now) as my own, and have done so, for the past almost-25 years.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm not anyone special. I'm just an average overweight girl, in person as well as in personality. Too loud, too boisterous in speech, too bawdy in sense of humor, too emotional, too hungry for affection and groceries, too selfish, too thoughtless; just too, too, too everything all the way around!

But I am someone special. I am special to my husband, my mother, my brother, my 3 sisters, my 4 children, my 3 grandchildren, my nieces, my nephews, my in-laws, my out-laws, and my friends. I am special to God. He made me, formed me, put His Hand on me, and blessed me. He knows my every weakness, every horror, every terrible thing I've ever done or been. There are some dark times in my life that I would rather had never happened. There are some bright, shining moments that I will never forget. Both the dark and the light merge together to make me the person I am, with flaws, foibles, and gifts all together.

You are special to God. You are His own creation. He loves you so much that He sacrificed His own Son to die for your eternal salvation. I don't know yet why He led me to this place, this amazing gift, of being able to communicate to you in this manner. I have a voice (thanks, Matthew West); I am living and breathing, and I've got something to say! Maybe it was for this message that speaks directly to you, or maybe it is one I have yet to write. I just know that He loves you. He wants all good things for you, and He is so ready and so waiting to help you. All you have to do is let Him.

Easily said. So incredibly hard to do. Doesn't mean you won't have hard times. Think on the early Christians, and in more modern times. They DIED for Christ. Today's Christians have it easy, in comparison, yet how many times have I failed to show my love for Him because I didn't want to be embarrassed? Too many. In this country, in this day and age, we have nothing to fear. God is so good!

I'm trying to work on this. When I am in a restaurant, now, I pray before I eat, folding my hands on top of the table. I still don't pray out loud (someone might think I'm crazy), I am Lutheran after all (we don't make "spectacles" of ourselves). I'm just keeping on with trying to change little things, like with working out, dieting, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I figured it was about time I gave some of that change to God as well.

I'm praying for you these next few days, that you will make some small change for the good in your life, no matter what it is. Eat less, weigh portions, write a food journal, drink more plain water, exercise, take up a conversation with someone in a check-out line, tell someone you love them, smile at a stranger and say hello (grownups only), pray in a restaurant, and celebrate it!