Starting Weight 242 lbs (7/13/09)
Current Weight 223 lbs
This Week's Results -3 lbs
Total Results -19 lbs
"Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other, gold."
I gratefully accepted an invitation to come to The Joy FM studios and do a live interview with The Morning Cruise, also known as Dave Cruse, Bill Martin, and Carmen Brown, on Wednesday morning. They are such a blessing to me, as well as so many other people in the station's listening area.
The gang on The Morning Cruise are such a good audience - they laugh at everything I say that my family either roll their eyes, or heave a huge sigh and go on as though I didn't say anything at all. I like that in my friends!
Speaking of friends, my best friend, Helen-Ann, and her husband, Dave, are going on a little weekend get-away. I hope they have a wonderful time. I've written about Helen-Ann before; she is like my other half when it comes to girlfriends. She helps me to think outside of my own personal box, so to speak. We get emotional about the same stuff, like contemporary worship, our kids and grandkids (her first is due in November!), music, faith stories, our husbands (Dave is my surrogate spouse, when Carl's out of town and the other 3 of us go do stuff together), injustice, our childhoods, you know, girlfriend stuff. But Helen-Ann comes at things from a slightly different angle than I do, so her slant on a subject may be a little to the left or right of me, but we always end up at the same place together. Helen-Ann always gives me something to mull over. She is very patient, although I don't think she would agree with me about that. I tend to verbally barrel over people; my brain is always running lickety-split, and I feel like I have to leap in with the first thought that comes into my mind... Helen-Ann does not. I am very impulsive. Helen-Ann is very deliberate in speech and action.
I'm sure Carl's reading this and nodding his head vigorously until his Bluetooth falls off his ear. He has chided me many times in the past for being impulsive and leaping off the robust rampart of reason straight down into the abyss of assumption. Did you like that turn of phrase? I just made it up!
Speaking of being impulsive, I think this little character trait (some would say flaw) of mine is what has assisted me with some of my weight gain issues in the past. I have been known to whisk junk food into a grocery cart while shopping with other family members (even as a child!) and no one ever was the wiser until we got home. I've hidden food in my bedroom to save for later. I've pretended "someone else" ate the last 2/3 of a bag of potato chips. I've rolled candy bar wrappers in toilet paper so no one would look TOO closely at my trash (you never know what you're gonna get), and I've flat out lied about how long ago it was that I went to Wendy's when the evidence (trash) was found in my vehicle. These are all signs that I have an eating disorder... well, color me DUH!
Being impulsive is self-destructive and can become an overwhelming problem if you let it. I mentioned Wednesday morning, when I lost my job last Thursday, I started peeling one of my fingernails. I've never had natural nails as long as they currently are, without them splitting and tearing. This is one of the signs that a low thyroid problem may exist. Anyway, I started by peeling off my left pinkie nail as kind of a nervous reaction to being laid off. I recognized that what I was doing was self-destructive, and I was able to stop myself after losing only that one nail. Back in the day, I would have continued mindlessly tearing off all of them until all I had were two hands of nothing but pink nail beds. This time, it couldn't have been more different. This time, Someone helped me stop myself. There was anther Power at work beside my own.
If you recognize yourself in what I just said, you are SO not alone. You are not losing your mind, and you are NOT a freak! You just have a personality snarl that you need to unravel. Get it out in the light (where everything needs to be!) so you can look at it and untangle it!
I have to tell ya'll thank you, before I get any further. Thank you, so very much. Thank you for your emotional support, thank you for reading my blog, thank you for listening to me on the radio, and just plain thank you! I feel your prayers lifting me up, and I am so grateful for them all. Thank you, Michelle, for so generously offering me your time and knowledge. Thank you, Dave, Bill, and Carmen, for the moral support! I know you don't think it adds up to much, but it means the world to me.
Carmen said a few times Wednesday that she prayed if it was God's will, for her to stay in this central southwest Florida community for the rest of her days. I second that emotion!
This is my prayer: Ya'll have a safe, peaceful, contented Labor Day weekend. And if you have to work during the holiday, thank the Lord for your job. I'm still hunting, and can't wait until I can start whining about "having to go to work"!
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