Starting Weight: 242 lbsCurrent Weight: 207 lbs
This Week's Results: -4 lbs
Total Results: -34 lbs
I went to the grocery store yesterday afternoon. I don't dress up for this, although I like grocery shopping, but yesterday I was particularly "dressed down" - I had on workout clothes - sneakers, bandanna folded up like a sweatband on my head, no makeup, the whole nine yards.
Thus attired, I wended my way through the store, and finally I entered the produce area and picked up what I needed, and started towards the cash registers. As I rounded the corner near the Latin produce, a man about my age started speaking to me in Spanish. I don't speak Spanish except in mainly food terms (go figure!), and I told him so. He laughed, and said, "You don't speak Spanish?" and we started talking together in English. He introduced himself, I introduced myself, and he told me he had been looking at the plantains for a meal he was cooking that night. We talked about Latin food for a little bit, his homeland of Puerto Rico, my childhood in the shadow of Ybor City; a nice little conversation, and then he asked me if I was married.
He asked me if I was married! This guy was actually approaching me to... ask me for a date? Invite me to his home-cooked dinner? I stammered around a little bit and eventually held up my left hand with the wedding ring on it. He expressed some tactful disappointment or other, and told me I was "looking good." I wasn't fully listening to him at that point, because I was quietly (I hope) freaking out. I thanked him, told him to have a nice day, and we parted company.
I giggled to myself through checkout, the parking lot, and when I called Carl to let him know someone had tried to pick me up. I haven't had that happen to me in quite some time, obviously, given my "smooth" reaction.
I'm becoming visible to other people, but I don't think its because I've lost weight - its because I feel better about myself. Because of that, I don't avoid eye contact when someone catches my eye. I have more interest in other people, and I think that reflects on my "aura" or whatever it is, and I have become more approachable.
It still freaked me out, obviously! I'm going to have to get used to this.
I'd like to think that maybe he saw something of Christ inside me. Maybe I was approachable for him because what I saw in him was another child of God who was simply making conversation. I wasn't being predatory; neither was he. So after I got over my giggle-fit I just prayed for him, that if he was looking for another person to connect with, to share a meal or a cup of coffee or friendship, I hope he finds it. Because he was a nice guy, he was respectful and funny, and he treated me like a person, not a target.
Make yourself approachable to someone today. You never know how much you might be brightening their day by a few simple kind words.
And my take on this is that with you losing the weight, you gain confidence, thereby emitting the vibes out there like a sonar in the dark. You feel better about yourself so you walk a little taller and smile a little more and instead of watching the tiles on the floor, you look straight ahead of you and into the eyes of the people you come across. You tilt your head slightly and with either a nod or the increase of your smile you say hello. Sometimes making this verbal. You're starting to see in you what I've seen my entire life... that you are worth saying hi to, you are worth getting to know, and dammit, you're beautiful. It might not mean much coming from me, but I've always told you so and thus have always meant it. Keep your head up, look to the heavens if it lightens your spirit, but do so for you. I love you!
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