Weigh In Week 15 - "The Light"

Starting Weight: 242 lbs
Current Weight: 210 lbs
This week's results: +3 lbs
Total results: -32 lbs

I so fervently hope that you might see elements of yourself in my following comments, and that you bring them into the light where you can examine them, and get on with your struggle!

... I gained weight this week - the first time since I began my latest attempt to be healthy and take control of myself... not too bad. I knew early on in my attempts that this was going to happen to me; it happens to everybody... falling down.

We all fail. We all fall so incredibly short of the goals that Christ would have us set for ourselves. That's our human-ness. Its also all too human to try to mask those shortcomings. I've delayed sending in this blog because I felt like such a failure to myself, and to the people who have been praying for me and for my getting better.

Bring your troubles into the light, where you can see them for what they are. Carmen talked this morning about having the beejeebers scared out of her by a coiled up hose in her family recycling bin - in her darkened garage, she thought the hose was a snake and probably woke the neighborhood with her shrieks - again. I can so relate to her story! I've been hiding behind myself for so long that it is hard to break the habit. Instead of talking about it, I've been isolating myself.

I'm so afraid of failing that its easier to quit. Its easier to just stop and say its too hard. That I tried but I just can't do it anymore. That losing 30-odd pounds is enough. But it isn't too hard! I've been doing so well! I know what I'm supposed to be doing! I have only a few more weeks before the Casting Crowns concert and people will see my progress thus far. I'm so NOT finished getting healthy with the end of the concert, but I can look back with pride in a job well done to this point. AND thank God for all He has done to show me the way. And ask Him to continue to guide me in all I'm trying to do.

In his book, Your Own Jesus, Mark Hall has a Discussion Guide at the end. He talks about "Stuck" on page 205 - How does my life reveal what I believe about God? I can't answer that yet, because when I think about that question, all I come up with is what I WANT my life to reveal about my faith in Him. I want to glorify Him in all I do, but I cheat on working out, on getting healthy, and even on continuing my search for work. I delay what I should be doing, and instead do the very things I know will sabotage myself.

I know I am not alone in this, man has struggled with his human self versus his higher purposes for as long as time itself. Paul says in Romans 7, starting at verse 21,

I find therefore the law of my nature to be that when I desire to do what is right, evil is lying in ambush for me. For in my inmost self all my sympathy is with the Law of God; but I discover within me a different Law at war with the Law of my understanding, and leading me captive to the Law which is everywhere at work in my body--the Law of sin. Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Thank you, so much, Lord for Your goodness, grace, and mercy! Without You, we are wretched, criminal, base, and condemned forever to death. Because of Your sacrifice, we are Your children, uplifted, forgiven, and forever cleansed from our sinful selves.

What kind of parents would we be, that when our children falter and fail, that we withdraw our love from them? We can't fix our kids (believe me!), but we can love them, pray for them, and be there for them when they call out to us. And God, being the Father of us all, does even so much more for us, His children, when we call on Him.

So... LIGHT! Christ is the Light of the world, and we who follow Him will have eternal life in the Light and never walk in darkness again (John 8:12). Bring your failings out into the Light of Christ, where you can see them, pray about them, talk about them, and get on with fixing them!